


Can We Talk About Ichigo?

by Aurelyn



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6738061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurelyn/pseuds/Aurelyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let's talk about Ichigo, whose family is made up of his sisters and dad, and most importantly, his mom.<br/>Until it's not. </p>
<p>Let's talk about Ichigo, who was happy and wanted for nothing more than he had, because life was good.<br/>Until it wasn't. </p>
<p>Could be expanded in the future, but is complete for now.<br/>Inspired by dirgewithoutmusic's series 'once a king or queen of narnia, always a king or queen'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can We Talk About Ichigo?

Can we talk about Ichigo? Ichigo, whose whole world was his mother. Who was kind and good and cried when hit. Who lit up at his mother’s smile, who was bright and bubbly and who maybe had some trouble telling spirits apart from people but that was okay because he had his little sisters and his dad and most importantly his mom. Ichigo, who saw a girl standing by the river in the rain and ran to help her. Ichigo, who knew nothing and then woke up to his mother lying dead over his nine-year-old body, and maybe this wasn’t so different from being unconscious because his world was still reduced to nothing even though his eyes were wide open and seeing everything. 

Ichigo, who was nine years old and sat by the river where his mother died because he couldn’t find anyone to blame but himself. Ichigo, who couldn’t stand being around his sisters when they asked why mommy wasn’t home (when’s mommy gonna come home, daddy?) because they were hurting and they were children (Ichigo who couldn’t fathom that he was still a child too; who looked in the mirror and only saw a monster). Ichigo, who went to the spot where his mother was murdered for so long and so often that it was a habit by the time his father finally came and said that he was still a part of their family (though with not so many words; Isshin was never very good at talking to his son, let alone with him). 

Ichigo, who over the next six years will figure out how to tell spirits from the living. 

(Ichigo, who probably spent hours and hours and hours telling himself that if he couldn’t do this someone else would die, who when he got it wrong probably heard nothing but rain, saw nothing but steel grey thunderclouds, felt nothing but a cold heavy weight across his chest and legs pinning him to the ground until he finally snapped himself out of it, took a shaky breath, and tried again) 

(because someone else’s blood would be on his hands, the tears of their family staining his soul) 

Ichigo, who over the next six years will end up with his father punching him and kicking him and throwing him into walls. 

(Ichigo, who was left to drown in his grief and try and get over his trauma on his own, but that was alright because his dad was better with the girls, anyways) 

(Ichigo, who never got any reasonable explanation as to why his father was doing this, but figured that it was okay because he’d lost his wife, even if inadvertently, because of Ichigo) 

(Ichigo, who only saw his father punishing him for his mother’s death, who rationalised everything away but deep down thought that this was right, that he deserved this, because this was all his fault and his father wasn’t the one to blame) 

(Father still became Isshin, and Ichigo never stopped to think about why) 

Ichigo, who over the next six years will stop smiling. 

(Ichigo, whose reason to smile was murdered by his ignorance and naivety) 

(Ichigo, who wakes up some days and thinks he's entirely forgotten how)


End file.
